So you messed up real bad and now she is not willing to see your face, let alone date you again? Dude, you need to up your game. It ain’t ever gonna work out if you hold on to the same schemes.
Indeed, it is much harder to get back the girl of your dreams than hitching up with a new one. There is this awkward space in between that has to be traveled – a tough grind! Anyway, once you’ve come to realize she was the perfect one, you got to play your cards right and stick to it.
To get her back again, show her how much you have transformed and then make your moves. We list down some ways to maximize your chances with the girl you lost and yet can’t stop thinking about.
- Respect her space and reflect
As your relationship takes that wrong turn, you need to give her some space. Calling her up every second or popping up at her door is only going to make things worse. The duration of space depends on how long were you down the road.
Stay distant but not too much. Remind her of your existence once in a while. Drop an email, pick short convos at the parties but do not be a bother. She’ll probably start to have a craving for you if she still misses you.
Apart from all that, have a jog down your memory lane. What made your bond turn stale? Ask yourself where you messed up? Were you too annoying, distant or cranky? If you want her back, make sure you get over those things.
Jot down all you think is wrong with you and work to make it better. Do not date anyone during your phase of self-improvement.
- Make yourself busy
There is no point in wasting time doing nothing. Indulge yourself in some activity. Pursue your interests. Take those trek lessons you always wanted, make frequent visits to the library or cook all the dishes you wanted to try out since forever. Focusing on getting her back and being depressed about it is not going to bring any good.
Spend more time with your friends or work-out!
Anything to cheer you up and maintain your adrenaline.
- Get her attention
As you feel you are not the same anymore, approach her with a strategy. Do not stalk and hound her off. Instead, maker her notice you. When she is around, and you are hanging out with your friends nearby, laugh more and be animated. However, do not make it so obvious that you end up making a joke out of yourself.
You should not ignore her completely. Give her a small wave or a quick hello. Let her notice you at your best
- Change your outlook
If you are confident enough that you fit her criterion, then make your next move. At those real-time conversations, dress up to grab her attention. Modify your style slightly. A tailored suit is an excellent place to start with if you are meeting at an office party. You may also show up in your new biker leather jacket that is trending lately.
Slip out of those baggy jeans and sweatshirts. You may even get that tattoo you always desired. Spice up your attire a little bit to make her feel a whole new wave of affection for yourself.
- Approach but with caution
Indeed connection is more important than attraction. If you broke up because there wasn’t much interaction, then it’s about time to let her know it isn’t the same. During these casual conversations, ask her about her family, her education or work. Show your concern for her problems. Reveal your excitement for her new venture.
And within these quick chats, make her aware of your new spark. Listen more, compliment more and maintain an eye-contact. Make sure your facial expressions befit the conversation and lean a little backward. Don’t make her feel you are all up in her face.
- Tease and ease
Teasing is the best way to ease up that tension. Let her see that funny side she fell in love with in the first place. Stick to your opinions instead of agreeing with everything that she says. The latter only makes it more evident that you are trying too hard to get a second chance.
Therefore, instead of confronting her up right there and then, take it slow. Check in to the teasing road as women feel a euphoric relief with these random jokes.
- Sincere apology
As these meetings become more frequent and stress-free, express your apology and guilt. Roll out your true feelings and how you condemn yourself to be a jerk before. Man up and tell her you were wrong.
Make sure you do it in person rather than texting her or sending an e-mail. Own your apology and maintain eye contact while you do that. She won’t take it seriously if you are vague with your expressions. Tell her specifically why you are sorry. Point out your mistakes during the relationship and make it known to her that you acknowledge them.
Let her process this sudden change. Do not feel disappointed if she is confused, runs away or doesn’t get back in touch for days. She needs her time to make a decision. Act calm and always be confident. With every transformation that you infuse within your personality, make sure you are bold enough to follow it.
There is no point in using cheap pick-up gimmicks or being upfront about your intentions. Be clever and strategic.
Apart from that, always remain open to rejection. There is a high probability that she is already past you and won’t turn back despite all your attempts. Nonetheless, you need to take it easy. Be willing to fail big-time. There is always more to life.
Try your best and leave it all upon fate. It is certainly going to work out if it’s meant to be. Be patient and stand fast.