They say marriage is only as strong as the two people who are in it. Self-evaluation and personal growth do not only make you stronger but also more content and comfortable in your skin.
When a couple ties a bond in front of all their loved ones, they are jubilant and optimistic.
They are jubilant because they are embarking on an adventurous journey and beginning a new chapter of their lives; they are often both excited and overwhelmed.
They are optimistic because, according to the vows they exchanged, they intend to remain in a thriving, blissful marriage for the rest of their lives.
However, with time, the daily grind and burdens of life can erode the happiness and optimism. As a result, almost half of the marriages dissolve owing to various pressures such as emotional unavailability, financial issues, psychological incompatibility, etc. Even if the marriage remains intact, the level of satisfaction and contentment may decline with the passage of time.
Dr. Terry Orbuch found in her long-term study on 373 married couples that emotional and physical passion in a relationship tends to diminish after about one and a half years.
So, how do people remain in healthy marriages for a better part of their lives? How can they stop their relationship from growing stale? The answer is constant personal growth.
What is personal growth?
Personal growth or self-expansion is a continuous process of enhancing one’s self. The improvement in the mental, emotional and physical state allows you to be more self-aware of yourself. You lead your life being more in touch with your values and positive thoughts.
Growth is an ever-evolving process. It may appear to be static at times but your mind is always accumulating more and more knowledge, and your emotions are continuously enhancing with age. You just need to witness the subtle metamorphoses to be able to appreciate them as opposed to being a mere subject to them.
Personal growth allows you to conduct yourself confidently and makes you more aware of the consequences of your thoughts and actions. Thus, you become more conscientious, appreciative and successful.
How can personal growth help your marriage?
As you become older, and your marriage ages, you settle into a routine and cease to experience life truly. While having a predictable routine is comfortable, it can also get very boring. You feel the excitement waning from your marriage and often, you attribute it to a lack of compatibility and affection. Eventually, the relationship starts to feel claustrophobic and you cannot wait to get out of the marriage.
On the other hand, when you practice self-expansion, you are able to promote the grateful feelings towards your partner. In a healthy relationship, as you grow, you help your spouse evolve with you too. When you are both on the same page, you are able to communicate and share your grievances more effectively.
The more you talk, the better you understand the other person’s reservations about the marriage. This can lead to avid discussions and, often, a viable solution to your problems. As a result, the marital journey becomes smoother and the chasm created by passing years reduces.
Furthermore, when you harbor a sense of security and a healthy image of yourself, you are in a better position to put effort into your marriage and bring something valuable to the relationship. A thriving companionship also leaves some breathing space. The couple is evolved enough to realize that they both are an individual being and need their space at times.
Conversely, people who fail to grow with the passage of time can suffer from anxiety and depression, thus failing to offer a positive perspective on their marriage. These individuals are also at a higher risk of suffering from Alzheimer’s, which can further affect the marital imbalance.
A study researched the perception of positive aspects of relationships amongst couples. The newlyweds were asked about what is the most important feature of a relationship that makes it successful. In general, they identified the most positive aspect of their companionship at that moment as the most essential. However, it is critical to understand that with the progression of time, specific facets of the relationship become more positive, while others become more negative. The happiest, most flourishing couples were those who grew with their marriage. They changed their opinions about what is more important according to the current scenario. They were satisfied with their marital bond and decided that whatever aspect has declined must not be so crucial after all.
Finally, people have an inherent motivation to groom themselves. When a partner supplements your efforts to become a better version of you, you feel more affectionate towards them. You feel happier about your marriage.
People who are inclined towards self-evolution and personal growth are more rounded individuals who lead a more meaningful life. They utilize every available tactic such as unique life experiences, developmental skills, educational prospects and widening the social circle to grow. This enables them to progress, and develop their emotional, physical and mental capabilities. Subsequently, they enjoy a prosperous association with their partners and a more harmonious marital relationship. If you or your partner really want to get in sync with each other, you can undergo various brain tests to find out more about each other.